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Kayla (00:07):
Welcome once again to Routine Drama or welcome if you're new. My name is Kayla and I am your host. And let's get into today's topic because it is a doozy.
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So for today, I wanted to take some time and talk about one of the biggest causes of drama for people living in the U.S., which is where I live, [00:00:30] and that is the election.
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If you don't know what election I'm talking about, then I kind of envy you. But no, obviously, I mean the presidential election.
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Pretty much any presidential election in the United States gets people super hot and bothered. It causes all kinds of drama in friend groups, in families, just within individuals, and so that can cause some challenges in election years, which [00:01:00] this year is one.
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So I just want to be clear as we start talking about this that I am not going to be talking about my political opinions and beliefs. I am not going to be slamming anyone else's political opinions and beliefs.
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I'm here strictly to talk about the election and election years from a mental health and personal wellness perspective. This is not going to be a political discussion. It's more of "How do we as individuals deal [00:01:30] with the dramas that come with politics in election years?"
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But let's just get started with some facts.
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So the presidential election will be held this year. It is happening on Tuesday, November 5th, 2024. So at the time of this recording, it's still quite a few months away.
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It is most likely, it's looking like, going to be Donald Trump for the Republican party, mainly up against Joe Biden for the Democratic Party. Of course, [00:02:00] there are other Democratic and Independent politicians running. We'll likely see that change in the coming months.
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But as of this recording, no one besides Trump is running in the Republican party. And so that of course causes very strong feelings in a lot of people because Donald Trump is a really polarizing figure.
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I don't think it's any secret that we in the U.S. take politics [00:02:30] very personally, perhaps more so than most other countries. That's not to say that we take it more seriously or that other countries take it less seriously, but we really internalize our political affiliations and how the people around us affiliate politically and what their political beliefs are.
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What that means come election year is that we tend to get into very heated arguments with people around us because [00:03:00] everyone is so passionate about the issues they care about and they feel that it's so important to who they are as a person. And they feel so personally affected by the issues that if someone disagrees on an issue, it can really start an argument very, very quickly and that can cause a lot of drama in individuals' lives.
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It can cause a lot of fights and sometimes unreconcilable differences [00:03:30] among family and friend groups. I know it causes a lot of people like actual anxiety and stress, and it just creates a lot of drama and it can be really challenging to get through election years here.
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So what I wanted to do today was just talk about how we can do a better job as individuals—because you can only control yourself—to take care of our mental health and [00:04:00] just have a calmer, hopefully less insane election year this year.
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Especially as we get further into the spring and summer months and especially as November gets closer, it's just going to get more and more crazy. Emotions and tempers are going to get even higher, and I think just anything we can do to not let ourselves be as affected by that—you can still care about the issues you care about, but to just not be super [00:04:30] emotionally and physically affected by it—will probably be better for us and for everyone in the end.
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So that is what I really want to talk about here. So let's start with maybe the biggest one first, and that is dealing with friends' and family's opinions about political issues, political parties.
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It's bound to happen in every family and even friend groups that, whatever political party [00:05:00] or political stance you back, someone you know is going to feel the opposite.
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It can be very, very difficult to do something as simple as have a family dinner without getting into fights with your relatives. I think it's really important to remember that even though it feels very, very frustrating when a family member has a very different political opinion than you, that [00:05:30] person is still your family.
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And for people who are lucky enough and privileged enough to come from a family where your parents have taken care of you, they've supported you, or they at the very least tried to give you a good life even if they weren't perfect, it's just really sad that something like who is running for office can come between that.
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I mean, again, I know it feels so personal, especially if one of the issues [00:06:00] that is of concern to you has the potential to affect you personally. It can feel like your family member not choosing that side feels like them not respecting you. But at the end of the day, I think you do have to try at least to separate the person from the belief.
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And I know beliefs are a big thing. They shape who people are, but someone's [00:06:30] beliefs can change over time. I've seen it happen. Someone can be very staunchly one way and they have some life experiences and they become a lot more laid back or they're just more open-minded to other opinions.
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But you can't change who your family is, but those beliefs might change. It's not really worth it and you're not proving anything or helping anything if you are willing to get into [00:07:00] crazy intense arguments with your family members or become estranged from them just because you can't agree on a political issue.
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Again, I know this all feels super, super personal and it can feel like your family is actively against you if they don't support some of the same causes as you, but you only have so much in this life. It's not really worth giving up one of the few things you have—your family, who [00:07:30] often are one of our most important support networks—it's not worth giving that up because of a presidential election or because of a general difference in political opinions.
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Being around certain relatives can be hard if they have very different political opinions than you, especially if they're very, very vocal about those opinions. But the best thing you can do is just not engage with them. If they kind of bait you because they [00:08:00] know that you feel differently about an issue, just don't take the bait, just don't say anything, or deflect and just go do something else.
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You don't have to try to fight every battle like it is a crusade for the political party that you are in favor of. I feel like a lot of us, we internalize and feel that it is our personal duty to educate people about issues that we [00:08:30] really care about, but it's not productive and it's not going to change anything if you fight with your family or estrange them or do whatever.
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Just try to remember the times that that person has been there for you in the past or the times that you would like them to be there for you in the future. And just try to, again, separate who they are as a person from what they believe politically. Again, I know in the [00:09:00] U.S. we kind of see someone's political party as part of who they are as a person, but that's not the case in other countries and it doesn't have to be the case with us.
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You can see someone as your friend, your mother, whatever, see them as the other positive things that they are and also accept like, "Okay, they feel the opposite about political issues as I do." But you don't have to dwell on that and you don't have to cut [00:09:30] people out of your life because they are against a certain issue that you have an opinion on.
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And I know some of the issues being talked about today, people feel very strongly about them, but just what is accomplished by cutting off friends and family at the end of the day? The politician that you're voting for or that you're arguing in favor of, they wouldn't show up to a hospital if you were there on your deathbed. But your family would. If [00:10:00] your family would do that for you, try to remember that and try to remember that not everyone has that, and don't waste valuable time with them fighting and arguing over politicians and political parties who, at the end of the day, do not care about you as a person at all.
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They care about the issues, maybe. Maybe they do. But there is just no benefit to fighting with family and friends and ruining relationships over something like [00:10:30] a presidential election.
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Kind of along with that, I think that kind of bleeds into a lot of the other problems and challenges that many of us have during elections. And that is I think a lot of us get more stressed, we don't sleep as well, we're angry a lot of the time, people get anxiety as it gets closer and closer to the election.
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There's even a phrase now to refer to the anxiety [00:11:00] and mental health problems that come with election years. It's called Election Stress Disorder. It's not an actual scientific disorder or diagnosis, but it is just a way that health professionals have been referring to election-related health disruptions because Americans get so invested in elections and political issues that it then takes a toll on us physically and emotionally. And that I also think is something that we can do a little bit [00:11:30] to help mitigate.
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And I think one of the best things that you can do if you are feeling really stressed or very angry as a result of political issues and election talk is to just unplug from the news, social media.
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I think there is a belief that we're doing something good, we're trying to be educated, we're trying to be informed about causes that matter to us. But at a [00:12:00] certain point, you can only watch so many videos and so many TikToks and you can only absorb so much content, and it's not going to make things better after a certain point.
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If you care about political issues, should you read up on them and try to be informed about them? Yes, absolutely. But again, you don't need to take this personal responsibility of educating and spreading awareness about every single issue, [00:12:30] because everyone else is doing that too.
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If it were just you who knew a piece of information, yeah, share it. But there are millions and millions of people sharing the same sensationalized, depressing new stories and trying to bias one group against another group.
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And again, I don't care which side of these things you're on, if you're feeling stressed and [00:13:00] angry and depressed or just really emotionally affected by any issue, you don't need to keep triggering yourself with that over and over and over again. I understand that we care about these things and we want to make other people care as much as we do and we have to make sure that we try to change their minds and all this, but at the end of the day, you sharing 13 reels about [00:13:30] a certain issue is not really going to change anyone's mind.
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It's not causing any real impact for that issue. And again, you can advocate for causes and you can join groups that support the issues you care about, but there is a certain line of diminishing returns where you're, at some point, just taking in a lot of negativity and you're not getting really anything [00:14:00] good out of it.
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If anything, you're probably just going to feel more depressed. You're going to feel like nothing is happening to support the cause you care about. Change isn't happening fast enough. And it can be really demoralizing.
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It's okay to unplug. I almost feel like some people think that they're letting the supporters of an issue down if they don't share things about it. Like [00:14:30] they're not a good person if they don't read every piece of news about an issue that comes out. We have sort of been conditioned to think that consuming and sharing content equates to how much we care, and that's not intrinsically true.
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It might be a way that you express that you care, but keeping yourself in a hole of negative and depressing news is not going to ultimately be [00:15:00] healthy for you.
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Again, you can do things to support the causes you care about, but you should also care about your mental health and well-being. And sometimes it is necessary to unplug and step away from the news and social media and things like that to just give your brain a chance to calm down enough to be healthy.
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If you're super worked up all the time because of political issues and because of whatever the people on the opposing side of the [00:15:30] issue are saying, you're probably not going to be sleeping very well, you're probably going to be really angry all the time, your cortisol levels are probably going to be up, you're probably going to start making poor nutrition choices because you're not sleeping and you're stressed out...
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It can just snowball into a whole range of issues that ultimately you then have to deal with. And again, it's admirable when people are passionate about causes, but you do [00:16:00] have to also take care of you.
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What is the saying about "Put your own life vest on first" or whatever? You need to take care of you if you also want to advocate for causes you care about.
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I also think it is helpful to remember that although, yes, in the U.S. we're fortunate enough to have a system where every person's vote collectively ends up influencing [00:16:30] the overall result, we still have an Electoral College system.
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So if your Aunt Mickey, who doesn't agree with the same issue you agree with, votes one way and you vote the other, it's not like she's going to throw the entire election and cause X, Y, Z to happen. The popular vote in the U.S. is not the same as the Electoral College vote.
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There have been years where one political [00:17:00] candidate has won the popular vote—which means everyone voted and that person was at the top—but then the actual President was the other candidate, because we have the Electoral College system.
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All that is to say, chances are that one person's vote is not going to sway the election in favor of one candidate or another. Do all the votes add up over time? Yes. That's why politicians spend so much time campaigning.
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It is just, [00:17:30] you don't have to attack every person who has an opposing belief to you as if they're going to be the cause that the politician you want to win doesn't win. Because chances are that one person's vote is not going to do that.
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And lastly, I know it is really, really hard to do this, but I think many of us can do a better job of understanding that politics are not inherently personal. [00:18:00] Again, yes, some political issues do affect us personally.
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For example, I'm obviously a woman, so any political issue around women's reproductive health has the potential to affect me personally. However, people take those issues and treat it as if anyone on the opposing side is personally against them. And sometimes they are—it's not like I've never [00:18:30] met a misogynist—but I'm just saying try to find some kind of balance so that you're not spending the next however many months of 2024, super angry, stressed out, and losing quality of life in other areas of your life just because the political tensions are so high and so crazy right now.
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If you need to, talk to a therapist. Talk to other people who have similar political views as you so that you can feel heard. [00:19:00] It's maybe not a great idea to only talk to those people and silo yourself away from alternative points of view, but it does feel good to be heard, and I think that can also do a lot to relieve some of the stress and anger and frustration that we feel when we encounter someone who has an opposing view to ours.
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I think election years in the US have always caused a lot of disagreements and just disruptions [00:19:30] to people's lives. But pretty much ever since I've been of voting age, the elections have just been like, they feel like life and death every single time.
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No matter which side you're on, it seems like everyone feels like, "This is a life and death election. If this person wins, it's going to ruin everything. If this person wins, we'll all be great."
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And the reality is things are always going to kind of suck and not suck here. The U.S. is just a country. [00:20:00] We have a lot of opportunities as people who live here to grow and advance and go after the things that we want. We also have a lot of challenges that we have to contend with.
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At the end of the day, I think it's going to be a long year. Try to take care of your mental health, try to be respectful of other people, even if you disagree with them—even if you fucking hate them. I understand, but you are not going to do any benefit to yourself or anyone [00:20:30] else by getting into a shouting match with someone. Certainly not by using physical violence against anyone.
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I know we're going to see news stories about people getting into fights over political issues, but that doesn't have to be you. You can have a relatively peaceful year and cut out a lot of this drama if you can just find a way to accept that some people are going to believe what they believe and you can believe what you want to believe.
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And you can still [00:21:00] advocate for the causes you care about, you can still be passionate about the issues you're passionate about, but it doesn't have to consume your life and deteriorate your mental health in the process.
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You can only control so much, and unfortunately, you can't control how other people think and feel, so it's not worth you expending your energy to try to make that happen because you're only going to leave that situation feeling more frustrated.
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[00:21:30] I know this is a really tricky topic to talk about. Just anytime you bring up politics, I know it tends to get people hot and bothered.
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But just know that, whatever political party you support, I hope that you can have a relatively peaceful 2024. I hope you are able to walk away from political conversations when you need to. I hope you are able to get some sleep [00:22:00] and not feel super angry all the time, although I know many of us will.
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But yeah, that's really all I wanted to say. So if you have feedback or thoughts about the content of this episode or any of my episodes, please share them in the form in the show notes on Spotify, or leave a comment on YouTube.
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Please rate, review, and subscribe to this show, to any podcast that you care about. It means a lot to us and [00:22:30] motivates us to do more for you.
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So please do that, and thank you for being here, and I will see you next week.