Ep 5 - Starting Something New
[00:00:00] Intro music
Kayla: Welcome back to Routine Drama. My name is Kayla and I have wet hair today. But, you know what, I couldn't really wait around to film again, because I am trying to get some other pieces of the podcast marketing and things like that into place.
And [00:00:30] so I kind of just wanted to film a couple of videos and have those ready to go so I could focus on some other items. So we're a little soggy today. That's fine.
But today, what I really wanted to jump into with you guys was the
[00:00:47] The Struggles of Starting Something New
Kayla: drama and the struggles—mostly internally, I think—of starting something new.
I think so many of us, we get intimidated [00:01:00] by trying new things. And even though we might have all these reasons
[00:01:05] Introduction and Personal Updates
Kayla: why we know we should or why we really want to start doing something new, make some changes in our lives, it can be really difficult to move ahead with those plans.
I think there are a lot of reasons why. Starting new things can be so challenging,
[00:01:21] Overcoming Fear and Uncertainty
Kayla: one, obviously you don't have a history or any kind of pattern in doing that thing. That's why it's [00:01:30] new.
So there is some kind of uncertainty and maybe even a little like fear of the unknown of you know, “What's it going to be like, am I going to like it? Is it going to be super awkward?”
“Is this going to be a waste of my time?” is one that I struggle with personally. You know, am I going to look foolish or look kind of dumb to other people or are people going to make fun of me? I think kind of the anxiety around uncertainties of [00:02:00] trying the new thing and what other people are going to think are really some of the biggest reasons why we maybe don't follow through with some of the things we want to do.
Whether it's, you know, joining a gym or trying to meet new friends somewhere.
[00:02:17] Personal Experience with Starting a Podcast
Kayla: For me, like starting this podcast was a bit intimidating and new because I've never done something like this, to this extent before.
This [00:02:30] endeavor for me is definitely… definitely scary in all the reasons I just mentioned, because one, I do not have experience making an episodic podcast like this. Certainly not one where I want to hit a deadline every single week. And certainly not one where my face is just on the internet.
I know that that just brings a whole lot of extra drama with it, but, you know, as I've said, I do really like the podcasting [00:03:00] industry and I'm determined to make myself a part of it.
I would rather not be hosting, but you know what? I'm here. You're here. Let's make the best of it. And I'm going to grow my skills in the process.
And I think
[00:03:12] The Importance of Motivation and Goals
Kayla: that having that underlying motivation—like what do you want out of the new thing?—is really key to actually getting started and jumping into whatever you're trying to do.
[00:03:24] The Challenges of Joining a Gym
Kayla: So if we take the example of joining a gym or, you know, [00:03:30] trying to get in shape, whatever. I think that can be really intimidating to a lot of people because it involves like, one, you have to go be around other people. What are they going to think?
It can make you feel like you don't fully know what you're doing. Like I've been working out for years, but anytime I move to a new place or join a new gym, or try to go to a new yoga studio or whatever it is a little bit challenging and my brain [00:04:00] instantly starts trying to talk me out of it because there's some unknowns.
And again, a big thing for me is like, “Oh, what if this isn't even worth my time? It's just awkward and costs money and then I also don't enjoy it? Won't that suck?”
But I think when you want to try something new, you’ve got to try to also focus on the positives, like what could come out of it. Maybe you will, in the case of going to the gym, maybe you'll feel better about yourself.
Maybe, [00:04:30] you know, your health metrics will improve. For example, like I have high cholesterol, or I did a couple months ago. And I wasn't really putting a lot of time into my physical health.
So I started going to the gym and changing some eating habits, and I got that down. My cholesterol is now in a normal range. At least, at my last blood work, it was.
So being able to just have data like hat that says like, “Oh yeah, like I am doing something a little bit better for me”—[00:05:00]it's not really related to my physical appearance, but like, I feel better—is nice and having some kind of motivation, some kind of goal to focus on can help.
[00:05:14] Reframing Your Definition of Success
Kayla: I do think another big thing that keeps a lot of us from trying new things or getting started in something new is that we want to be good at it right away.
I want to be perfect at everything I do like right away, which is just [00:05:30] not possible. And that causes a lot of like mental distress for me.
But over the years, I've kind of started to at least learn that you just kind of have to put that aside and maybe change your definition, your thinking, of what “good” is for that beginning time period.
Maybe being good at a new community sports team you joined is just showing up. You know, maybe being good at that event is just [00:06:00] getting there and being around other people. That's good.
And then as you play that sport more with those people, get to know everyone, maybe being good is you hit a home run or you get on a base if you're playing like a community softball league or something like that. I don't know. Okay. Not a sports gal.
But just readjusting and reframing, like how we think of what being good at something is and making it more attainable early on certainly helps [00:06:30] me start new things.
[00:06:31] The Perception of Others and Overcoming Insecurity
Kayla: I also think other people don't really notice newbies as much as we feel like they do.
With the example again of going to the gym—just because I feel like that is a big one that people often want to implement it their lives—when you go to a new gym, especially if you haven't been in a gym in person in a while, it kind of feels like everyone is just staring at you.
And really that's not the case. It's just that we feel that way because we're the new ones there. We’re [00:07:00] unfamiliar and we feel insecure. And when you're insecure, you kind of tend to place more emphasis on certain things than other people really do, because they feel secure.
They're used to being there. They're just there to work out. They don't really care if you're there or not. And, you know, if you have a bit of trouble using a machine or you're trying out a new kind of weightlifting routine, you don't know if you're doing it right… It's okay.
It's okay if it's not perfect. And it's [00:07:30] okay to not know what you're doing, because everyone there has experienced that when they started going to a gym.
And if they're the kind of people who are going to make comments about that, or even think mean things about you, they're kind of just assholes, honestly. And you don't want to be concerned with what they think anyway.
[00:07:49] The Importance of Independence in Starting New Things
Kayla: So starting something new, whatever that is—whether it's a new hobby you want to pick up, maybe it's some kind of lifestyle change you want to implement—I think [00:08:00] the biggest thing you can do to actually be successful in making that new thing a regular habit is to not make it dependent on anyone else.
You know, if you want to start knitting or you want to start hiking more, you want to start whatever it is…Don't put it on yourself that, “Okay. I want to do this thing, but I don't [00:08:30] want to do it alone. I want to do it if a friend goes with me. Then I'll do it.”
Don't do that. I completely understand like the desire to not do something alone and to have that emotional support there. That makes absolutely perfect sense and I feel the same way.
But the thing is if you make it dependent on somebody else showing up for you and being supportive for you then, if something comes up in their life and they can't be there, that's going to prevent you from doing [00:09:00] the thing that you want to do.
And it can be awkward to do things alone. It can be awkward to just show up somewhere where you don't know anybody and try to make the best of it.
But at least if you start from the beginning with the intention of, “I want to start doing this thing and I'm just going to plan to do it completely by myself, but you know what, I'm going to try. I'm going to do it,” if you do have a friend or your spouse or [00:09:30] whoever can be there to support you, that's just like a bonus.
It's a nice addition to starting the new thing.
[00:09:39] The Power of Baby Steps and Giving Yourself Grace
Kayla: But again, you can't control anyone else but yourself. So don't tell yourself that you can't start something new because “This person couldn't be available this day,” or “This person isn't interested in doing this with me.”
You know, I feel like so many people, they want to make changes to their [00:10:00] eating habits. Maybe they want to try like going vegan or vegetarian, or they want to try paleo or keto, you know, whatever it is.
They're like, “Oh, I think maybe this would be good for me and what health goals I want to achieve,” but their partner has no interest in doing it. So they're like, “Well, my partner doesn’t feel like doing it, so I guess I'm not going to try that.”
It can be a hassle to do things on your own and to plan for yourself as an individual when there are other people around you who don't want the same things as you. [00:10:30]
But ultimately if you do just accept, “Okay. It's going to be a little difficult and you know, my meals are going to be different than my partner's meals for a bit as I try this,” then that just kind of removes that barrier of like, “Well, I can't do it because XYZ.”
You can just do it. Again, it might not be super easy at first, but if you don't limit yourself based on other people then you are going to stand a much better chance of actually starting the thing you want to start and [00:11:00] experiencing it.
And then if you don't like it and it's a huge pain in the ass, you can drop it. Like, just because you start something new doesn't mean you can't leave it later. But I think the important thing is actually trying new things.
And when we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations, it doesn't necessarily feel good in the moment. But later when you're at home, relaxing, chilling out, you can kind of look back on that and be like, “Yeah, like I did that today. I put myself out there and it wasn't perfect, but I did it. And I [00:11:30] can do it again tomorrow,” or whenever’s the next time you would need to do that.
But, yeah, I just think that so many people want to make changes in their lives, myself included, and it can be just hard to actually take the first step to making that happen. But just do it. Just take the first step. Again, Probably won't be perfect, but that's fine.
[00:12:00] Perfect for you is just making the attempt. That's a perfect execution of what you're trying to accomplish right now. Just attempting it is enough.
And then as you do the thing that you want to do more regularly, then you can change your definition of what doing a good job at this thing is. But you need to give yourself a little bit of grace and accept that baby steps are what are going to get you to whatever outcome you're ultimately [00:12:30] looking to achieve.
And again, I think a lot of the struggles that come with this topic in particular, they are internal. It's not the drama of like everyone else expecting you to try something new. (Maybe that is part of it for you. If that's the case, that's a lot of pressure.)
But I think a lot of this kind of drama comes from inside us. Like there's a dissonance between what we want our lives to be and what our actions are bringing into our lives.
And [00:13:00] when we can find a way to just take that leap and move in the direction of whatever we hope to accomplish, that can kind of alleviate some of that stress, some of that drama, and we can feel a little bit better about each day. Which, I mean, who wouldn't like that and their life, right?
[00:13:17] Conclusion and Future Plans
Kayla: That is all I have for you today.
I am making some more adjustments to my podcasting setup soon. Nothing super crazy, but hopefully we will get the audio [00:13:30] situation a little bit more under control in the future.
And, you know, in the meantime…episode five and still alive. I am really enjoying working on this project.
To anyone who is watching this or does watch it in the future, I do appreciate you because I understand there are many, many podcasts and many shows out there that you could be listening to right now, but you're listening to mine, so thank you so much.
And if you have any comments, [00:14:00] questions, feedback, things you'd like to see done differently, topics you'd like to see covered in the future, you can email me routinedramapod@gmail.com.
You can also follow me on most social media platforms at @routinedramapod.
Thank you so much. And I'll see you next time.
[00:14:17] Outro music